Cartoon: What Not to Say In a Meeting

aNewDomain.net–Dreaming is a part of any career, but there is no excuse for dozing during meetings. It’s pretty frightening after an accidental catnap and you wake up you don’t know who noticed.

Nine-tenths of life is just showing up. But everyone in that 11 o’clock meeting have done just that. To shine in meetings you need to be heard. Of course, not the way the young ad exec above is being heard. It’s best to leave some things to yourself, like a really good dream. Other things we’ve heard at the table over the years have bordered on the ridiculous. Many of us get a bit insane when a lunchtime meeting is scheduled and lunch is not served. Maybe bagels from breakfast are still around? Here’s a list of nine other things never to say at meetings.

1. “I didn’t get an agenda. I never get an agenda.”
There’s probably a reason for that.

2. “OK, who’s gonna finish the last bagel?”
Yes, IT managers want employees who are hungry, but it’s more in the realm of being ambitious and solutions-oriented, not trying to fill up on carbs.

3. “Honestly the bagel was just sitting there.”
Until quite recently companies have resisted going green. Insisting on eating the last bagel may seem to prevent waste and demonstrate and an insistence to go green at all levels, but many interpret that as you being unfocused. Just take the bagel.

4. “Did you get any of that?”
That there are no dumb questions is just a cliché to get someone to ask a question. There are dumb questions, and asking, “did you get that?” is one.

5. “Are you kidding with that blouse?”

6. “Touchdown!”

8. “What’s the purpose of this meeting?”
Try to at least maintain the illusion you have a clue.

9. What’s a five-letter word for released?
Fired.

10.”Hey, this was supposed to end at NOON sharp.”

It takes real courage to say the obvious. You’re speaking up for every little guy in the room who is thinking the same thing. You’ll need that courage when you look for a new job.

Based in New York, Dino Londis is a senior commentator at aNewDomain.net, IT Pro alum National Lampoon and teamBYTE. Email him at [email protected]

Dino Londis
Based in New York, Dino Londis is an IT veteran, an alum of The National Lampoon and a senior technologist at aNewDomain.net. Contact him at [email protected]
Dino Londis
Dino Londis
Tags: Business,Technology
  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003415709481 Kamyar

    I think it’s a different game for the yegounr generation (like me). Certs pull a lot of weight when you’re either fresh out of college, or when you’ve worked in different fields and recently went back to school in IT. You easily get passed over for not having been in the field as long. Companies want innovation, yet they don’t seem to connect the dots that you have to bring in fresh talent, even though they aren’t the most experienced. I’ve noticed a lot of places either don’t know or don’t care about CompTIA only A+ for helpdesk. Networking jobs want CCNA and MCSE certs. Combing through job postings I notice a trend towards vender-specific technologies. (In a recent interview I was scrutinized over using the most recent version of the software in question.) So, A+, Network+, Security+ won’t make much of a difference if they expire in 3 years because you would have likely already used it to get a new job or bump up your salary.